24 May 2006

i ate a sausage this morning...a real, bonofied pork sausage. now, this may seem highly normal to most, but for me, the non-beef, non-pork omnivore, this is a rarity. there must be something about being pregnant that is making me want it...i crave that protein. i also cooked with garlic for the first time in nearly 6 months! and it didn't make me gag. in fact, i found it quite delicious. this is great and wonderful. i feel so encouraged about my eating future.

but what this entry is really about, is the Great challenge...that of being what Philippians 2 calls us to be. i have been reading The Case for Christ, which is probably long overdue, and one of the passages they mention is in that passage, regarding Jesus being at a lower level than God. for some reason i decided to look it up this morning, and was utterly humbled by its all too familiar words which i used to have memorized, and should again:

Imitating Christ's Humility
 1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
 6Who, being in very nature God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
 7but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
 8And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross!
 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
      and gave him the name that is above every name,
 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
      in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
      to the glory of God the Father.

Shining as Stars
 12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

 14 Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16 as you hold out the word of life
—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you.18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

today i am beginning a 6 week summer class on the psychological novel. oddly, this is not something that i deal well with mentally, but i need a class to further my achieving a degree. the description of the class seems to come from a point of extreme secularism, with acceptance of the depravity of humanity as something to be grasped and almost embraced-but not embraced in the yes-we-are-all-sinners-lets-work-this-out kind of way, but in the nihilistic, hedonist type of way. for some reason, i must be called to be in this class for it was my last choice, but the only one that seemed to fit in with my schedule. i am a bit scared of what i may encounter, but then humbled by God's words. i am to be fearful and trembling, but God wants me to work out his purpose, and what if my purpose is to be light, a shining star in the midst of a class that is consumed with human darkness? i am humbled by my position...not just as fellow student, but my being suddenly thrust into new roles, that of wife and mother.

there is so much good in life, i cannot complain. but this season has proven to be particularly difficult, even with all the blessings. it is really quite ironic. i feel stripped of so many comforts and alone in this new life. but paul reminds me that i have a higher calling...this renews my hope and causes me to strive for what's right, what is good and beautiful.

i am grateful for the humility. it's really all i have, and that is perfect.

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